Thursday, June 28, 2007

more ADD clinic stuff

well i am one week into my medication. i have been prescribed dex amphetamine. its been a very interesting experience thus far. i had always assumed going to a psychiatrist would be a little depressing (ha ha) but pretty much its just been a big ego stroke for me.

the best description i have heard from the doctors re the medication (dex amphetamine) is that if you imagine my brain as a computer, the processor is powerful and fast (lots of information and ideas) but it was accessing enough RAM to let it finish its transfer of the information fast enough.

the dex amphetamine unlocks more RAM in my brain, so to speak, and allows more information to flow.

the interesting thing has been hearing from a complete stranger a fairly accurate description of my life!!!

the part that i was very interested about was that the doctor told me that when my brain hasnt had enough RAM (again so to speak) that it cannot store most of the information for long periods of time and it is discarded (again using the computer analogy) and after a period of time the information is put into my trash basket.

it has been quite hard listening to these ideas and not immediately using it as an excuse for my lack of concentration and also general hopelessness which has been a fairly big issue for me, but it certainly makes things a little more clear.

the dr also (without knowing anything about me) ventured a guess that i would have undertaken a lot of different business ventures and had a variety of results from success through to out and out failures..

the research he has been doing (he specialises in adult adhd/add..and is thought to be pretty much the foremost in his field in australia) is that this is very common with ADD sufferers.

basically i have been diagnosed with fairly severe ADD (in his opinion about as severe as it actually can be. clinical ADD kicks in at around 70 on the scale they use and mine is upwards of 90-95) which is weird to hear from someone, when you have always considered that you are basically functioning as you assume everyone else does.

he also explained that because there is so much information being processed and thrown around in my brain, that it takes up actual energy to do this, and this is part of the reason that i get fairly run down towards the end of the day. its like my batteries are being drained more than they should be.

because the dex (hopefully) assists with this, it may well mean a little more energy for me at the end of the day.

the oddest thing about all of this is that they are giving me stimulants which thus far has actually helped with my sleep!!

ok so the test results...

the two graphs below are from a CAARS test which is used to determine what level (if any) of ADD/ADHD someone has.

in the ADD section (which is EFG) i am pretty damn tooting! the CAARS observer has been filled out by my wife and Carmela (who manages Alibi) the two people who i guess spend the most time observing my behaviour.

the self profile one was obviously from my own mind tank. you (or the observers) fill out a questionaire (see last blog posting) and this then forms the graph.

the other test is a Progressive Matrices test which forms part of an IQ test. i scored in the top 1%. i actually got the highest score the psychiatrist had seen in his practice (genius....see i told you i have proof!)

the effect of the dex is pretty dramatic and very quick. literally within around 45mins it is like a basic calmness comes over my brain.

pretty much everyone i know (with the exception of bec and a couple of staff) have called bullshit on this in some form or another. i think a part of this is the fact that i get through day to day life pretty well, so from the outside it wouldnt appear that there is many problems. add to this the fact that i have been prescribed speed...which doesnt seem like it would do anything but make me more hyper.

what a lot of people dont understand is the massive amount of ideas that my brain produces every day. fucking thousands and thousands of little spits of energy, which is great because i have always thrived on doing new things at a million miles and hour, but this has also landed me on my arse pretty hard from time to time as well.

even just little day to day things, like driving past hotels where i am staying, missing turn offs to streets i a meant to go down...

the description the dr gave me (above) about the RAM and the computer seems very accurate at this point.

my thinking is quite clear. my energy levels are better. i am sleeping much better.

i dont seem to have lost any of the ideas that are flowing, they just seem to be flowing at a more steady and consistent rate and i seem to be able to file them a little better as well.

Monday, May 28, 2007

adhd clinic

for a fair while now, my wife, who is a psychologist has been suggesting that i exhibit a lot of characteristics/traits of someone with adhd.

i have always been a little shy of getting assessed on this or recieving treatment because for the most part i like the way my brain fires.
i am pretty lucky because most people who have this tend to also have other forms of brain issues...ocd, depression etc..

ocd is definitely a little irksome at times for me...mainly door lock issues or odd daily routine stuff. but apart from that i am a pretty decent 8.5 out of 10 most of the time.

anyways a friend of mine has been recieving some treatment for a similar condition so i went along to the adult ADHD clinic she went to.

it was pretty interesting..first step was some oral and written tests...reaction of iq tests (mainly pattern and order recognition)..alcohol audit...quality of life..

i thought i might start posting some of the tests (and results as i get them!)

please feel free to email me any questions about all of this. its quite fascinating stuff...

Monday, April 2, 2007

is it 1994??

such a great weekend.saw the lemonheads and the pixies play. both were awesome.
the lemonheads (evan) was as chock full of tangents as per usual (great rants about how NZ was just like nazis but with less sieg heils) but the set list was great..and they played "hate your friends" so i was stoked.

the pixies sounded amazing and their set list was also incredible but fuck i dont think i have ever seen more disfunction on stage before. absolutely no communication between the band members at all. it was great to finally see them live, but at the same time sad to watch how they react (or dont) to each other.

i also got to go for a flight in a chinese fighter plane for my birthday!

this is the plane "lucky 13" eh?? a sign of good things to come? in this outfit i think i was more goose than maverick..

whilst the plane looks like 1950's era it was actually built in the late 80's. pretty much everything was written in i couldnt find the "fucking hell we are crashing and i need to eject" button at all. later the pilot told me there was no such button.

this is flying at around 3000 feet at around 300km per hour. good times.

i felt a little more maverick in this photo.

i had to make my own machine gun and rocket sounds though.

this is mid way through a 360 loop the loop.
notice sea is the sky...

this was fucking unreal..the pilot let me fly the 2nd loop the loop. (seriously!) i am a much better pilot than i expected..but approx 5gs doesn't help the double chins...

the wife (mine) and peter the pilot....he was definitely more maverick...i was the goose again.

big, big pilot told me that he took up some v8 super car drivers who complained that it wasnt as powerful as their he did some crazy moves and made them
the gnarliest move we did was a stall roll...straight up until the engine stalls...then drop backwards..swing around till nose points down...then massive corkscrew spins with no engine on at all...

thus begins the random photos...

murdoch working on the new painting in the alibi upstairs toilet...7 eleven meets planet of the apes..i love it..

more ape business....

this is just funny.

ollie sits funny.

this was at a gold coast shopping centre. he looks like quite a contented whale..

everyone at the gold coast seems to live on a movie set.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

boo speeding tickets on the nofx tour

adelaide..on the way to the venue...

and on the way home..

i tried a few excuses with the SA police.

1) i am not sure if its me driving...(i know i was the only person driving the van) the photos apparently are taken from behind so thats a no -go

2) i wasnt aware of the fact that it was a 50 was a major road.

response "unfortunately there is a 50 sign clearly visible directly in front of the van in the photo"

she was very pleasant though.

Monday, March 19, 2007

this is susie wearing her red hat (along with the delightful vanessa) while we were eating at Ginga..probably my favourite restaurant at the moment.

i told you i had a big head...:(

my new dinosaur jr sneakers..cant wear hi-tops with shorts..which means i will never wear the shoes but i had to buy them.

these cows got out of a truck and were hit/shot. you know how breatharians only eat fallen fruit...does that mean i can eat a fallen cow??

way back in the day..(its the 90's kids) cass melnik and i comparing golf scores with J from Dinosaur Jr

this is the elephant near my favourite indian restaurant (Taj Bengal)

parents of small children..please take note..

how could i refuse this??

my friend chris at mardi gras..nofx broke his punk rock cherry!!

ollie loves tv...which is a good thing.not sure what he is watching there.

susie from alibi / i heart hiroshima actually went on tour with me and nofx. this is her the day she left.

hanging out in the foyer in perth..she liked this hotel

just soundchecking smellys adelaide